Guy seeks a girl

Picture this: I'm on a quest to find that rare and magical unicorn who appreciates bad puns as much as I do. My idea of adventure is not skydiving, but rather diving into a pile of untouched pizza with my favorite Netflix series—perfectly balanced, like the proportions of pineapple to ham (which are clearly 3:1). When I'm not busy contemplating why cats refuse to acknowledge my existence, I’m probably plotting how to make the best ramen known to humanity.